Does my Husband Trust me?

Continuing on the Proverbs 31 wife...

“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.”

Proverbs 31:11 (NLT)

This is a tough one for me…I am TRYING to do it better and each summer it gets a little better to handle, even though I don’t like it. 

Back-story for those of you that don’t know (which may be many of you…) Each summer my husband and brother-in-law travel to McLean, Illinois for a corn and soybean run.  It typically lasts anywhere from 4-6 weeks, favoring the longer.  The first year I was in tears, had so much anxiety about preparing for his leave.  (I give the utmost love to the women who have to live months with their spouse overseas, my brother’s family being one of those- Love you Michael and Jeannette!!)  Anyway, I was not reading a whole lot in the Bible, busy with a 3.5mos. old baby, 2yr., 4yr. and 5.5yr. old.  Needless to say, I was consuming myself with our youngest baby and little girls.  I didn’t know how I was going to manage without him here everyday.  I had my family nearby, but still not the same.  When he left I think I cried almost every night, even nights when I was talking to him.  I know I was making it even harder on him.  It was wearing us both out.  I needed to see him and found tickets out to visit him reasonably priced.  I took our youngest and dropped the other 3 with my BELOVED mother-in-law.  She’s an amazing woman!!!  It was so nice to have his arms hugging me.  After that 4-day trip I felt better and eagerly waited for his return home.

OK, not sure I made a lot of sense there, but to catch up you, he’s been going out there since 2008, so this summer will the 5^th year.  It doesn’t get any easier and I still get panic stricken as the days dance nearer every time, but I have learned to dive into God’s word and let him work in me.  I find that if I turn it all over to him and just pray everyday for safety for them and comfort for us we will get through it. 

I want my husband to be able to go on this summer job and have full confidence in me as his wife.  I want him to know that I will be solid emotionally and spiritually so he can rest on my support in his long hours of the summer.  I want him to trust me with the money and that I spend it wisely. (Screwed up real bad with that one-year and never doing it again!!  So not worth jeopardizing marriage over it)

I want him to know that I will do my very best at training our daughters wisely.  I want to know that I will run an orderly home.  I will keep his reputation in tact and not speak poorly of him.  I want him to be 100% sure of my love for him and no other man, no emotional connections made with other men.  I want him to know that under pressure I can keep my emotions in check, self-control!  Most of all, I want him to know that when urgent situations come up that I can make a wise decision, or at least who to call for help.  We have an amazing church family and I know everyone would be willing to help me out, as long as I ask! (key word there, ask!)

I am by no means perfect, hence for my need for God in my life.  I don’t always make the best decisions, but I want to be more like the Proverb 31 woman, a woman whose hubby can truly trust me.  I will continue every day to make a conscious effort to gain these qualities, it may take many, many years and I will never be 100% perfect, only God can do that, but I can strive for it!

Lord, I come to you knowing my flaws and I asking you to help me commit to being a better wife for my husband.  I long to be a wife that my husband can trust in each dynamic of our lives together.  Without your help and words I am nothing, but with your help and guidance I can do great things.  Please God, help me make the right decisions when it comes to our daughters, our home, money, be faithful to only him, keeping my emotions in check and give me the strength to make the right choices always.  I know I have people in my life willing to help out when needed and that I need to use my “big girl” words and ask for the help.  In your name I pray…

Amen




These are the 4 AMAZING reasons why I gotta get it right, so they can be good wives one day for their husbands. 

GOD is Constant

Welcome Wednesday

Good Morning all...


Over the next little while I want to share some thoughts to think about when reading Proverbs 31. I am by means no expert, nor would I ever lead a Bible Study about this or get up and talk about it in front an audience...typing it out is way easier for me and I can get all my thoughts out with feeling embarrassed and judge, (yes another struggle of mine).  I need God everyday because of all these insecurities and inadequacies.  


I am part a group that meets at our church 2 times a month, called Mom2Mom.  It's a great way to get out of the house and socialize and learn with other Mom's.  I always look forward to going, eager to learn what God wants to show me.  Yesterday was no different!  I was especially excited because we were having a guest speaker, Jill Feck.  She has an amazing heart for God and is full of wisdom to share, she homeschools her 4 children, and leads Bible Studies for women and married couples.  She is virtuous woman, indeed!


Yesterday Jill talked about how we are to make God our constant in our lives, and one of those ways is by "submitting" to our husbands.    She shared how we can make our marriages better and how to make those changes in being a Proverbs 31 woman.  She had a great breakdown about what those verses mean today. (I need to get them and I will share them with you.) 


In the meantime, I am going to share some things that I got out of it, How to Treasure your Husband by keeping God our Constant. 


Proverbs 31:10 "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."


Well!  Where do we even start. I often think, am I that to my hubby?  Don't I want to be that treasure to him, YES!  Here are some things that I should NOT do:

• I should not rival my husband

   [rival]: 1. a person who is competing for the same object or
              goal as another, or who tries to equal or outdo
              another; competitor.

   

       2. a person or thing that is in a position to dispute

          another's superiority: 

          Dictionary.com

• Complain about all the housework I do
• Charge everything just because I want it or it's on sale. (learned this lesson-not doing it again)
• I should not be greedy or selfish
• he doesn't want to hear me gossip and I shouldn't be doing it with others either.
• I should not spend my day in leisure, while he's out working for our family. (examples: shopping just because, emailing, unless with purpose, web browsing, late movies and sleeping in- I am convicted)
• I should not disrespect or criticize him. 
• letting outer beauty over-rule inner beauty, such as worrying about weight.

WOW, feeling so convicted...no day like today to start praying and asking God for the strength to change me.




 Lord, I am guilty of so many of those things.  Please guide me in making the conscious decisions to take a step back and re-evaluate the way I speak to and of my husband.  Guide me in my devotional time and make it meaningful and apply it to my life.  I want to be in your word everyday and focus on those things for my family. In your name I pray. 
AMEN! 

I realized that we need an updated picture...

Foolishness bring me down...

Take it from me..blog link up

Comparison… is just Foolishness

Let me first by saying I feel that I have a blessed life.  I have a wonderful husband, who I love and respect.  He’s an awesome Daddy for our 4 girls.  I have 4 amazing daughters, each so precious and treasured beyond belief.  (Yes, though I like breaks once in a while)  I have all the things needed to survive, plus more.

Now, maybe I am the only one…but I sometimes I find myself comparing myself to others.  This is not a good thing either.  I feel like if I “just” had that or just had “this”, it would be make my life complete.  I know that’s not the case, but I still compare myself to others.  I know the Bible says that God does not approve of this and he wants our standard of measure to be the Bible, nothing or nobody else.  Yet, I find myself doing it from time to time. 

I know when we compare ourselves to others that it can steal our contentment.  Here are some areas that I compare myself to…

Comparing me to my gal pals

I know its not comparing apples to apples, but I still find myself doing it.  I have friends that are thinner than me and I think if I was just their size, I would be happier. Or friends that have property that I dream of.   If I just had that life would be complete.  I would LOVE to live on 5 acres with a few animals and a smaller home. (Less cleaning)  I would love to be so comfortable with speaking in public, like they are.  You know who those people are in your lives, they appear that they have it all together and everything is perfect…but they have their “quirks” too. 

Do you compare yourself to your Mama?

Well my Mom keeps a perfectly neat and tidy house.  I remember growing up and hating Saturday, cleaning day.  It had to be done perfectly to her standards, that’s what I thought. (I always wanted to be outside)  Did you ever have to clean before guests came, but wondered why b/c it was already clean, I did!  I love my Mom, she’s the best and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Her cleaning drills, I did not love!  (Sorry Mom) I don’t remember though if it was always perfect when we were little.  If I had to guess I’d say there may have been crumbs on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry needing to be folded or dusting that needed to be done.  I feel like I have to try and get everything done before she comes, b/c I don’t want her to judge my messy house.  WHY??  I remember when I was older my Mom keeping a tidy home…so maybe when my girls are older and help out a lot more I will have that too!  Wishful thinking…I still want a house cleaner once a month to deep clean!  (A girl can dream right?)

Tit for tat with hubby

 Especially when the girls were younger, I would say things like “I was up all night with her, while you SLEPT!”  These days it doesn’t go that way anymore…they all mostly sleep all night.  I know it’s not a good idea to keep track of who does more…not for anyone.  Who cares who takes out the trash or mows the lawn or cleans the toilets?  We are a team and we work together.  Remember that saying, “there’s no I in team”.  My hubby busts his butt outside the home, so I do as much as I can here to keep a nice home.  It’s really not worth arguing about who does more or comparing the things your hubby may or may not do with girlfriends either.  Remember the vows you took the day you married him and all the love you felt!  Rekindle it if need be! On a side note, my hubby and I are all good!!! (This was a struggle earlier in our marriage though) 

So I need to remind myself before going down the comparison road, I need do I want to choose the road to pride or the road to intimidation.   The Bible says pride comes before destruction. “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) If I refuse to obey him and stay out of pride, then God will no longer be able to honor me, he will allow me to make a public fool out of myself.

If I choose the road of intimidation then I am falling victim to the sin of intimidation, which is rooted in fear.  The spirit of fear is something that comes from Satan.  God equips us with power, love, and Jesus. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy1: 7)

By comparing myself to others I am missing out and falling into the traps of Satan.  I am never going to be able to compare myself and say, “Well looky her, we are the same…by golly!” I know that can’t happen.  Comparing only leads to pride or intimidation, which when I do find myself in that, it’s usually intimidation. 

I am going to try very hard to stop doing this, and remind myself that God has forbidden those choice b/c he loves me and doesn’t want me to be crushed by either choice.  God made me for a specific purpose and has a plain all laid out just for me.  WOW!  It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.  I will have to remind myself daily to have faith and never doubt it. 

I need to focus on the job God has laid out for me to do here and do it with 110% as unto Jesus.  “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. (Col. 3:17, 23)  I need to be able to be comfortable talking out loud in public and talking about salvation in Christ.  That doesn’t mean being in someone’s face all the time, just ask God to give me those opportunities to speak to them and give me the right words to say without getting nervous and scared about people judging what I say. 

Comparison blocks the spout where God’s help comes out. You simply cannot do what He’s called you to do without His help. So pull the plug on comparison and throw it in the trash where it belongs. That will allow the power of God to begin to flow into your life again. 

How awesome is our God..

1 Corinthians 4:7

For what gives you the right to make such a judgment? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift?

Update about life in general...

Well I figure it’s about time for an update.  We made the switch to home school and haven’t looked back since.  We’ve been having so much fun with it; it hasn’t left me time to update you all.  (all 1 of you maybe reading, LOL) 

Evelyn wakes up eager every morning now to do school.  We are on week 3 and the chipperness is still there.  It’s awesome, and I kick myself for not doing it sooner for her.  She’s become a happier little girl overall.  She is amazed at how quickly we are able to finish our work, we don’t have to sit at a desk for 6 hours, LOVE it!!!  Usually in about 2 hours time, sometimes more, sometimes less and we are done!  We are learning about stuff she wants to learn about, which keeps her attention.  She has asked if we could do some more bible stories, which is awesome.  I just have to find something that we can do that with.  Franklin wants to get them the action Bible for Christmas, so that will be a great fun way to learn for both of us too!!

Evelyn looking for Spiders and webs after we learned about them from an awesome book, she loved it. I encourage you to check it out from the libray.  

Spiders

Look at the hairy legs, which we learned all spiders have to help them sense vibration in the web.  

 Just a cool orb web we found in the cypress tree.  

Mabel and Gretchen are doing well in school, neither one mind still going.  They understand that next year they will be given the option and it will be up to them.  I know Mabel will have a lot of thinking to do, b/c she could be up for safety patrol.  Gretch, I think will pick home school and I will be so excited to teach her too. 

Vera is attending preschool two days a week with the best preschool teacher EVER!!!  Mrs. Natalie is such a blessing in our lives.  She has made my Gretch and Vera love going to school and having fun.  She’s always cheerful and excited to see all my girls.  We’d be very sad if we didn’t have a teacher like Mrs. Natalie, we just LOVE her!!!  (probably more than she will ever know)  Immanuel Lutheran preschool, in Palm City is the best!!! 

As far as life for the hubby and I, all is well can’t complain.  I am really enjoying being Evelyn’s teacher, especially when she tells me that I am the best teacher she’s ever had! ;)  Love that!!!  I knew when I decided to take this endeavor on that it would be a challenge, but so far it’s been great.  I have enjoyed our weekly library trips, reading lots of books, attending the YMCA for home school swim days on Tuesday, the freedom of being able to teach her what I think is important and making it fun for her.  I love the one on one time with her and getting to see her happy and excited to learn! A friend of mine, Jill Feck, told me it's a lot like being a Mom, there are great days and then their are days when you just need a break.  I love that and thought to myself, those will be my "teacher work days!"


Franklin is staying busy with work and just got done with the turkey dinners for Thanksgiving.  He’s been involved with a group that has been smokin’ turkeys for families out in Indiantown, since 1986.  (Yes, he was young) Every year it’s gotten bigger and bigger.  This year I was finally able to bring the girls out to help and it was awesome to see them jumping in to help strip the meat of the bird, washing dishes or handing out trays in the food line.  It’s a great way for them to participate in giving back.  Looking forward to doing it every year now.

Time to gear up our house, spirits and minds for Christmas.  I want to focus on teaching the girls the real reason about Christmas, reinforcing what we learned last year.  It’s not about the gifts; it’s about how he was sent down here to because God was showing his great love for us.  It can be a time of healing and renewing strength.  We celebrate Christmas because he was born, God send his son, Jesus, into the world to bring great joy to all.  I just pray that the girls will learn more and more about this ever year and appreciate what he’s done for us.  (And I know they are younger and will get caught up in the presents and such, but if they just understand it a little more every year, then that’s awesome)!

Whatever Wednesday...

Today I am feeling out of sorts. 

 I have been praying...trying to figure out what to do.  I have been thinking about going back into teaching, but not wanting to go into the schools, thought about virtual teaching...would like that, but the jobs are so far and few between, and then a little voice in the back of my head says homeschooling.  I know hubby is not fond of that and part of me things, can I really?!  I know I started out wanting to do it with Mabel, but she begged to go to school, she craved that social aspect of it.  She's made so many friends, Gretchen loves going and has fun each and every day.  Then, their is Evelyn who hates it.  She struggles and we are struggling to get the services she needs.  

I think, should I homeschool just her, but then that doesn't work for the rest of the girls, plus I can't even do homework with her, without a flood of tears.  I am so torn and making myself crazy with the ideas.  

I am going to give the school a month, TOPS!  Then, I will have to make some changes.  If they can get her the services needed, we'll see.  (don't have a lot of confidence in them though).

Please pray that we find a balance that works for all of us and that a helpful, creative, learning environment is set up for my girls, especially Evelyn.