Continuing on the Proverbs 31 wife...
“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.”
Proverbs 31:11 (NLT)
This is a tough one for me…I am TRYING to do it better and each summer it gets a little better to handle, even though I don’t like it.
Back-story for those of you that don’t know (which may be many of you…) Each summer my husband and brother-in-law travel to McLean, Illinois for a corn and soybean run. It typically lasts anywhere from 4-6 weeks, favoring the longer. The first year I was in tears, had so much anxiety about preparing for his leave. (I give the utmost love to the women who have to live months with their spouse overseas, my brother’s family being one of those- Love you Michael and Jeannette!!) Anyway, I was not reading a whole lot in the Bible, busy with a 3.5mos. old baby, 2yr., 4yr. and 5.5yr. old. Needless to say, I was consuming myself with our youngest baby and little girls. I didn’t know how I was going to manage without him here everyday. I had my family nearby, but still not the same. When he left I think I cried almost every night, even nights when I was talking to him. I know I was making it even harder on him. It was wearing us both out. I needed to see him and found tickets out to visit him reasonably priced. I took our youngest and dropped the other 3 with my BELOVED mother-in-law. She’s an amazing woman!!! It was so nice to have his arms hugging me. After that 4-day trip I felt better and eagerly waited for his return home.
OK, not sure I made a lot of sense there, but to catch up you, he’s been going out there since 2008, so this summer will the 5th year. It doesn’t get any easier and I still get panic stricken as the days dance nearer every time, but I have learned to dive into God’s word and let him work in me. I find that if I turn it all over to him and just pray everyday for safety for them and comfort for us we will get through it.
I want my husband to be able to go on this summer job and have full confidence in me as his wife. I want him to know that I will be solid emotionally and spiritually so he can rest on my support in his long hours of the summer. I want him to trust me with the money and that I spend it wisely. (Screwed up real bad with that one-year and never doing it again!! So not worth jeopardizing marriage over it)
I want him to know that I will do my very best at training our daughters wisely. I want to know that I will run an orderly home. I will keep his reputation in tact and not speak poorly of him. I want him to be 100% sure of my love for him and no other man, no emotional connections made with other men. I want him to know that under pressure I can keep my emotions in check, self-control! Most of all, I want him to know that when urgent situations come up that I can make a wise decision, or at least who to call for help. We have an amazing church family and I know everyone would be willing to help me out, as long as I ask! (key word there, ask!)
I am by no means perfect, hence for my need for God in my life. I don’t always make the best decisions, but I want to be more like the Proverb 31 woman, a woman whose hubby can truly trust me. I will continue every day to make a conscious effort to gain these qualities, it may take many, many years and I will never be 100% perfect, only God can do that, but I can strive for it!
Lord, I come to you knowing my flaws and I asking you to help me commit to being a better wife for my husband. I long to be a wife that my husband can trust in each dynamic of our lives together. Without your help and words I am nothing, but with your help and guidance I can do great things. Please God, help me make the right decisions when it comes to our daughters, our home, money, be faithful to only him, keeping my emotions in check and give me the strength to make the right choices always. I know I have people in my life willing to help out when needed and that I need to use my “big girl” words and ask for the help. In your name I pray…